You and your man (or woman) have been together since the beginning and will never have to be apart? Move along then friend, this post ain't fo you.
Aaron and I were in a long distance relationship for almost a year after our first two months of dating. I had a fantastic job in San Francisco where my family was based and Aaron was beginning his second year of law school in Omaha, NE. We did long distance for 324 long and miserable days that felt never ending. We moved to DC together for his 6 month internship during his third year of law school and when he went back to Omaha to wrap up his last semester of law school, I stayed in DC and we did long distance for another 5 months until he moved out here for good.
And friends, I have lived to tell the tale. It wasn't the end of the world. The world didn't explode. A and I are still together, celebrating three years together in 2 weeks and EVERYTHING WORKED OUT. Because while LDR's are pretty much the worst thing ever, they can work and can be worth it.
From one LDR survivor to another (because you WILL survive), here is what I have to say
1. Plan! Plan out your visits so far out in advance that you never have to say goodbye to that person without knowing the next time you will see them. Aaron and I would always book the ticket to see each other next while we were together which made good byes just a bit easier.
2. Appreciate the communication! Because your time together is spent on the phone or on skype, great communication develops naturally. You have almost nothing else but talking and this will be build an incredible foundation for your relationship. Be thankful! So many relationship aren't as blessed as to have communication as a building block.
3. Realize this is just a blip in the grand scheme of things! My boss during the time Aaron and I were apart also was in a long distance relationship during law school with her (now) husband. I remember feeling the days would go by sooo slowly (not being dramatic) and she would be quick to remind me what while days go by slowly, the weeks and months fly by. And that when I looked back on this part of my life it would feel like just a minute. Just a blip of my life during my early 20's. And she was right. Now that Aaron and I are together, long distance feels like a hundred years ago. You'll get there, I promise.
4. Just do it! If you have to think about if an LDR is right for you, then its not. There was no doubt in my mind I wanted to be with Aaron and if that meant we lived 4 states away for a year, then so be it. It was a no brainier to me. If you're unsure about the relationship or the person, don't do it. You'll know if a person is worth the distance. You just will. Which leads me to....
5. Don't do it and MOVE! (If you can). There are a ton of great reasons not to move: school, great jobs, family and Aaron and I had 'em all. But eventually, we just had to make it work. And I moved to DC. Anyone worth doing long distance with is also very likely worth moving for. Take a leap of faith for your relationship and if it doesn't work out, then its an incredible life lesson under your belt and at least you didn't waste more time in a relationship that wasn't going anywhere. And hopefully you move somewhere awesome like DC!
This is awesome! That "blip" comment is so true about so many things! I need to keep it in mind.
ReplyDeleteawwww i think about this too! I moved to SoCal with my boyfriend, now fiance for him to go to Law School. I am so glad I was in a flexible time in my life that I could do that. But really its just a blip and it's over!
ReplyDelete