20 things I've learned I've learned in my 20's

Today is my 30th birthday. I've been around the sun 30 times and today marks the beginning of my 31st trip. I'm not a huge birthday person (though I love celebrating the birthdays of others) but 30 really crept on me and it's a milestone -- and the first that makes me feel "old". I'll admit, I did spend some time bummin' about feeling old but my 20's were really good to me. && these 30 rides around the sun have taught a me a lot.

So, I'm sharing 20 little life lessons I've learned on my way to 30. 

Share any thing you thing I need to know in this new decade in the comments, will ya? xx

1. Trust the experiences of those who live them and trust not your perceptions of those experiences. Until you've lived them, you're not the authority. I mean this so to generally respect the people around you but given the tragedies of this week I encourage you to keep this in mind as we discuss the oppression our brothers and sisters of color face everyday. 

2. Happiness is a moving target. A friend told me this as I struggled with my decision to move to DC and I've held it close to my heart ever since. What makes you happy changes and moves. Follow your heart to continue to pursue it,

3. Forgive and forget or forgive and don't forget but either way let it go. Let go of the hate, hurt, disappointment, whatever in your heart. It's toxic and will hurt you far more in the long run than the original misdeed.

4. You get what you get and you don't get upset. What you have is plenty and perfect. Let go of this grass is always greener idea.

5. Surround yourself with people that lift you up. There's no space or time in your life for people that don't help bring you higher.

6. Friendships evolve and change and friends come in and out of your life. It's okay for a friendship to sunset. It doesn't take away from the importance of the relationship or what that relationship has meant for your life.

7. If he's into you, he'll text you back. If he doesn't, he's just not that into you. It's really that simple.

8. Be your own biggest advocate. Don't wait for (or let!) anyone else be that person. This is important for both your personal and professional lives and is a lesson I recently learned first hand professionally. Its far more empowering and worthwhile to be your own advocate.

9. Threading is better than waxing.

10. Things happen when they're meant to happen. Everyone's life moves at a different pace and you can't compare yourself to someone else's timing.  Trust the universe's timing.

11. Say no to the people/places/things that don't add value to your life. Learning to say no is one of the most empowering lessons you can learn in your 20's. And it just feel so good.

12. Learn to listen. And then actually do it.

13. Love is awesome and its hard and its amazing and its tough work (then rinse and repeat). But its really, really worth it. And if it's not worth it, let it go ASAP.

14. Ask for help. It doesn't make you look weak or less than. It makes you look taller and wiser. 

15. (My) Mom is (almost) always right. I'm not sure I'm ready to put it in writing that she's always right. Perhaps, that's something I can work on in my 30's.

16. The universe has infinite pathways. Let this encourage and excite you. More importantly, don't ignore all of the doors open to stick to one path.

17. Because everyone is on their own pathway, live and let live.  Don't judge because someone's pathway is different than yours. March to the beat of your own drum and respect that everyone else marches to their own, too.

18. Make your bed everyday. It's really worth it to come to home to a kept space.

19. You're as strong as you say and believe you are. So believe you're a body builder on Muscle Beach :)

20.  Be kind. Seriously, just be a nice  f@%$ing person.

life lately

I inadvertently have taken a little blog break. I had good intentions to shoot and work on posts while in California but I decided to enjoy the moment and worry about any "work" when I returned.

So what have I been doing instead of blogging?

WEDDING PLANNING//

While Aaron and I were in California, we did some wedding errands. Aaron hadn't yet visited the venue itself so that was the first stop on the list. I've seen t once before but it didn't feel as real as it did to be there together. We'll be there again for our big day in just over three months!

Also majorly critical to our wedding planning was dessert research :). In lieu of a wedding cake, we'll be serving doughnuts (our favorite!) so we obviously had to do some taste testing! Twist my arm, right? We have a few good contenders to choose from.

We also met with our photographer to take some engagement pictures. I'm not totally sure what to do with them since we already sent the save the dates but I'm sure I'll share a few on here.  The shoot came with our wedding package so we figured we might as well take advantage and I'm so glad we did. It was great to get to know our photographer!

CELEBRATING LOVE //

Our trip was planned around a good friends wedding. Aaron was in the wedding party so we went up to Sacramento where he went to college and our best friends all still live. Our friends getting married, Seth and Kaylynn, share a really sweet love and you can't be anything but happy when around it. Spending a few days with our nearest and dearest left my heart overflowing.

RELAXING DURING MEMORIAL DAY //

Because we had a really busy previous week/weekend, Aaron and I stayed in town for MDW for a staycation. We hung by the pool, grilled, drank with some friends, and had really laid back weekend. It was perfect.

I had plans to lay low and take a break from wedding stuff but I realized I didn't put the time on our wedding invitations! So instead of taking a break for the weekend, I had to remake our invitations! Oye. It was more frustrating than challenging but in the end, I'm really pleased with the way they turned out.

How was your long weekend??

xx

you dont have to do it all

Last week, I alluded to taking a break from grad school. To catch you up to speed, I've been working towards my MBA by going to school part time for the past year and a half. My employer covers a significant part of my tuition, though not all of it, and is fairly flexible about schedule changes because of school. Professionally, my team has been understaffed so I've had to take on additional responsibilities on top of a job that already requires 25% travel and work obligations after business hours typically once a week. Oh, and I'm getting married. So, I've got just a little bit on my plate.

At the beginning of this semester, my manager mentioned she could tell when I was working on finals because of my demeanor. I was really embarrassed because I take pride in separating personal, professional and academic obligations and apparently I wasn't doing it as well as I thought. She said, "you know, you don't have to do it all, Nicole."  I responded, "I know but I can."

It took four months, but I'm just now understanding the difference. "You don't have to do it all" and "you can't do it all" are two very different things.

You can't do it all refers to one’s ability which I was fiercely protective over. I do not like being told what I can and cannot do especially relating to my abilities. "You don't have to do it all" is about a choice and the control of your own path. I am choosing to carry a full plate and choosing to do it all.

And to what end? Why do people choose to do it all? I realized after some soul searching that doing so much gave me a sense of pride though it didn't fulfill me. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Choosing to do it all left me feeling depleted.

So, I’ve decided to take a semester off from school to focus on the things that fulfill me the most. Taking a break from school, and the reasons why this was the first area of my life to give, isn’t the point of this post. My point, and lesson to share with you, is that choosing what to do, and not to, is far more empowering than doing it all. The choice isn’t a reflection of ability, it’s a reflection of self awareness.

why i love notecards

Who doesn't love getting some snail mail? Remember how exciting it was to get chain mail as a kid? Truthfully, I hated the burden of having to send out the next 10 letters but I sure did love receiving them. 

Now the only things I get in the mail are bills, save the dates, or baby announcements thought the latter of which are exciting. I hardly ever get "just because" snail mail which is arguably one of the best types of mail!

My love of sending and receiving snail mail is only compounded by my love of paper goods.  The ease of stationery personalization through Minted or even DIY and my local Target dollar spot stocking the cutest stationery only enables my enthusiasm. The result is a desk loaded with stationery and all my beautiful besties to send mail to. 

Luckily, I collected all of their mailing addresses earlier in the year for save the dates. I've really enjoyed popping a few notes in the mail here and there just to say "I'm thinking about ya". 

Keeping in touch is, in theory, made easier with the advances of social media but I feel that sometimes the authenticity of your sentiment is lost in oversaturated news feeds.  Handwriting a note is a nice change of pace and serves as a good prompt to remember why you love the person on the other end of the mailbox.  

Happy writing! XO

on self evaluations

Last week, we (my day job) had two events in New York. Let’s just say the first event on Tuesday left quite a bit of room for improvement for the second event on Thursday. It was apparent things didn’t work during the first event and before a very similar event later that week we had to make some adjustments. My team sat down to reassess, identify areas for improvement, determine how to implement the changes, and then updated our event strategy within 24 hours. The result was a wildly successful event that came together through strong collaborative efforts.

Program evaluation and assessment isn’t a novel idea. In fact, I imagine most of us do it with some regularity at work. Standard post event procedure in my office includes a debrief, and professionally I am comfortable knowing something didn’t go well so long as we work towards a solution to fix it for the future. This idea of evaluating performance and making adjustments if needed isn’t daunting. I want to make sure I am performing efficiently and successfully, and if that means making some changes then so be it. Even when I may not know what the solution to the problem is, I’m not hesitant to begin testing solutions.

So, why the challenge when I look inward to do the same evaluation?

I have a lot on my plate right now (don't we all though) and I'm living in a bit of a "just need to get it all done" fog. The result is a feeling I don't love. Too often, I wake up wondering where the heck the day/week/weekend/month went which is, again, a feeling I don't love. Something is obviously not working but I haven't made the time to figure out that something is.

It may be easier said than done, but we should all be showing ourselves the same care and respect we show our professional work by evaluating what is working, abandoning what is not, and doubling down on what is. I myself am trying to be better at identifying when something isn’t working so I can ditch it with the same assurance I do professionally. We all know this, but I’ll say it too: prioritize your self-care. You’re the only one that can. We're all works in progress. :)

snowzilla 2016

Warning:  A picture heavy post!

DC, and the east coast, was pummeled by Winter Storm Jonas this weekend which was aptly nicknamed Snowzilla. Snow started Friday afternoon and we woke up to about 10 inches on Saturday morning only for the bullseye of the blizzard to pass through over the course of the next 12 hours. By the time snow stopped falling we had near 20 inches in our neck of the woods but other parts of the city had 22+ inches.

I've never seen so much snow in my life! Though I've been to the mountains, I've never seen this much snow on the road or in a city. 

On Saturday afternoon, there was a slight break in the storm so Aaron and I took a walk around the neighborhood and up to the Capitol Building. We walk this route to the metro each day so it was surreal to see everything covered in snow and the streets so empty.

We live about 10 minutes from the Capitol Building which we were told was the neighborhood spot for sledding. It was stunning to see the grounds covered in snow but we had no idea it would also look like a ski resort! There were dozens and dozens of sledders plus people with proper ski gear and snow shoes. It was wild, you guys!

We didn't have a sled so I grabbed a sign from a protest the day before to slide on. It didn't make for a great sled but it did the trick.

a letter to 2016

Inspired by Victoria McGinley, I'll take a picture at the beginning of each of month of this tree I pass every morning during my morning commute to have a collection of photos to show how our seasons change.

Dear 2016,

You’ve got some big shoes to fill. 2015 was a really wonderful and really hard year; I think it’s the balance of highs and lows that can make a year so fulfilling.

2015 brought new experiences and highlighted memories that I will forever cherish. A year full of blessings brought me little Lucy, professional and personal successes, and a few Mary Tyler Moore moments knowing I was going to make it after all. I explored new places, feelings, and friendships. I found my stride and pride in my work. Though there was no highlight greater than when my best friend asked me to spend the rest of our lives together under the fireworks on 4th of July.

2015 also brought lows. Lows too personal to share in this space but the effects of which are worth sharing as I think they are relatable feelings. I'm lucky not to have suffered any eventful lows like a loss of a loved one  or some other major life disruption. Instead my lows were emotional, and I think those lows permeated my being far more than I realized (or wanted to realize). Rather than confronting the source of my stresses or anxiety, I tried to ignore the feelings which left me disorganized and unfocused. I know the best way to address stress is head on and in 2015 I felt the burden of making the choice not to do so.

2016, and the refresh button any new year brings, has arrived at the most opportune time. My hope for 2016 is that I will work towards a greater fulfillment spiritually and remember to place the people, things, and emotions I love above all else. I think I have a good sense of what matters and doesn't though I too often lose sight of that. I challenge myself in 2016 to try to remain present and not lose sight of the bigger picture -- a challenge I know that I'm capable of meeting.

2015 flew by so I want to savor every moment 2016 gives me. I hate to end on Pinterest-y quote, but life truly is a blessing and every day should be cherished. I hope that you challenge yourself to remember that each and every day, too.

Cheers to you, 2016!

With gratitude,
Nicole

mic check... is this thing on?

Let's put it out on the table. I've been a pretty awful blogger for the past three okay six to nine months. I don't need to go back and count how many "whoops a month went by!" or "I need a breather" posts I've posted but lets put a microscope on this summer: since June 1, I've posted 10 times. Am I allowed to even call myself a blogger at this point? Don't answer that...

Here's the thing: blogging takes time and motivation. Thanks, Captain Obvious. Both of which I've been seriously lacking this summer. I took two really hard classes this summer, traveled a lot for work (managed to slip in some vacation there though), and have attempted to start planning a wedding. Attempted being the key word here. I feel like there are always at least 10 things on my to-do list and sometimes the weight of to-dos can feel like bricks on my chest. And you may not realize how much time blogging takes. Between taking pictures, editing, writing, designing graphics, and posting on social media, each post can easily take a few hours. So with what little time I felt like I had this summer, I didn't want to always spend it behind a computer or add anything else to my to-do list. I just needed a bit of a breather. 

The second part of this: the motivation. For me, blogging is a hobby. It started as something fun and creative to do and grew into a hobby I loved putting energy into. There is a whole world of bloggers who blog professionally and I quickly learned that route wasn't for me. I've got a great job that fulfills me and I wasn't reliant on this space to do that for me. Somewhere along the way, that lesson was lost. It is pretty challenging to put yourself out there in a world where the person next to you works with a professional photographer or spends the same hours a day I do at my day job to perfect their content and marketing strategy. It's becomes harder and harder to not compare yourself. And we all learned through Pinterest graphics, "comparison is the thief of joy."

During this little summer vacation, I've really missed this space. A Dash of Gold is a valuable outlet for me and my hope is that it is for you, too.  && I don't want to lose that so I'm trying to get back in the swing of things. I'll try to post more regularly but promise to only post when I have something meaningful to share and not post just to post. 

I hope that schedule is okay with you :)  Thanks for sticking with me; you'll never know how much it means to me.

XO

black, white, and leopard... (and all the feels)

If I ever wrote a memoir, it would most certainly be titled "Black, White, Leopard, and Feelings." Can you hear me signing "these are a few of my favorite things?"

shirt c/o | similar skirt (on super sale!) | sunglasses | clutch | similar shoes (though I prefer these) 

photos by: Caroline

{warning: a feeling heavy post} 

Being newly engaged is a really interesting time in your life. Obviously. Since I’ve never been here before (obviously), I couldn’t expect how to feel (obviously) but I will say, there are a whole lot of feelings I didn’t anticipate. 

The first is HOW happy I am. I knew I would be excited (obviously) but Aaron and I have been together 5 years and live together…I knew I would be happy but I also figured not a whole lot would change. I’m in love with my best friend so how much better could it get? Let me tell you, I am overjoyed and have ALL THE FEELS. In fact, I’ve been mulling over how to explain the depth of what I’m feeling in words for a few days now. And I’ve reached the conclusion that I can’t do it; I don’t have the words. And I’m not often speechless :) The overwhelming feelings of joy are compounded by it being a hugely personal and life changing time in your life. In a lot of ways, my life changed overnight.  And while I may have a public facing blog, I do like to keep some things personal.  But I also want to shout it from the rooftops: I’m spending my life with my best friend!

Shouting it comes with sharing. And sharing it brings out the best in people. I didn't anticipate how many people would want to share in the joy I have. It's as overwhelming as it is humbling. 

Sharing also comes with feedback…and let me tell you, almost everyone has something to say. It’s weird – how many other life changing moments do you have where the custom is to share and then answer questions. And garner feedback from folks you that perhaps you wouldn’t collect from otherwise…

The questions people have are arguably the most interesting part of being newly engaged.

The first question is usually “so have you thought about when and where” and my answer is always a variation of “Kind of. We’re thinking fall of 2016 somewhere in Northern California but that’s all we’ve thought about. We really want to enjoy this time being engaged and not have to worry about planning a wedding yet.” Because that is the truth – that’s all the thought we’ve given it because we want to just be engaged and enjoy this time. We’re not in a rush. 

So the follow up questions are what have surprised me the most. “So what will you do about visiting venues while you’re living in DC?” or “Are you going to have your mom do the cake tasting because she’s still in California” or “Are you anxious about planning a wedding perhaps sight unseen?”. Welp, I don’t know because I haven’t thought about it. The upside is that response elicits suggestions which I do appreciate.

One of the most surprising questions people dance around and ask in not so many words, “what are you going to do about school?” Um, I’m going to keep going… Getting my MBA is up there with getting engaged and married in terms of top 5 life changing moments for me so I’m certainly not planning on not pursing that to plan a wedding. Societally, we put a lot of weight on a wedding day but I think walking across the stage at my graduation will be an achievement in its own right. It’s a little like comparing apples to oranges but if we get down the bottom line, my degree is going to cost a lot more than a wedding. Hey, I could be signing a whole new song in a few months but for now, both are equal priorities. 

Because above all else, my relationship with Aaron is my most prized priority.

All that being said --  I don’t anticipate this turning into a wedding blog or having a weekly wedding post. We’ve all got Pinterest for that. I’ll probably just continue to share my feelings here and maybe some advice about the process that you might not assume otherwise. Like how to answer the question “I know you just got engaged but… can I have a plus 1 to the wedding” The answer is explicative.  

&&& If you got all the way down here, thanks for listening :)

keeping my pool bag packed

bag (30% off with code WEEKEND) | hat | similar sunglasses | cover up | tumbler 

This weekend was unexpectedly one of the best weekends I've had in a long time. Don't you love those weekends? I love staying in DC during holiday weekends because it is a bit of a ghost town and an always welcomed change of pace. 

So the only plan for the weekend was to enjoy a three day staycation. It was a low key weekend of nothing. I had a few things I had to do but for the most part, I was wide open to say yes to only the things I wanted to do. So I filled it with lots of pool time, lots of friend time, one or two (or 5) margaritas, and a whole lotta sunshine.

Aaron and I made old fashion's at home on Friday, I saw Pitch Perfect 2 on Saturday night with my BFF, and I spent the afternoon laying out with my old DC roommates before one of them moves away next month for grad school. I pre-gamed a Nat's game I didn't go to, did some outlet shopping,  caught up on Southern Charm, and laid by the pool some more. 

It was quite actually the most perfect staycation.

If this weekend was an indication of the summer to come, and I sure hope it was, it is going to be a great few months. I think I'll just leave my pool bag packed just in case. 

How was your weekend? How did you make the most out of the three days?

your second career

One of my favorite bloggers (and local blogger babe), Katie, posted last week about her second career inspired by another one of my favorite bloggers, Victoria. The gist of Victoria’s original post is that she and a few friends were sitting around a table and one posed the question “If you guys could do anything for your next career, what would you be doing?” Inspired by their posts, I thought I'd think about my answer.

It’s a question we all think about, right? Especially those of us in our 20’s, or at least we should be. Forbes estimates us millennials will have 15-20 jobs during our lifetime. So in actuality, it’s quite practical to think about what your next career is because you may find yourself making that choice sooner rather than later. That takes a bit of the day dream out of the answer, doesn’t it?

So I’ll answer the question practically, but just initially. It’s not a secret that I’m working on my MBA. And while I love my current job, the industry doesn’t demand that I am an MBA to be successful. That flexibly affords me the opportunity to take all sorts of classes and I’m finding myself drawn to courses in organizational efficiency, strategic marketing, and brand management. So maybe my next career will be something that threads those three focuses together.

That answers the question right?

Sure. But the purpose of this exercise is to dig a little deeper and find that next career that is as much a day dream as it is a career stretch. Something that you would love so much to be doing that it feels just out of reach but not so out of reach that it is not attainable.

So the stretch dream answer is: I really want to be a small business owner and own a coffee, beer, and wine bar. It would be a small coffee house during the day and in the evening a place where you can grab a delicious glass of wine or craft pint. My hope is that it would be more than a small brick and mortar; it would be a community mainstay where I knew everyone's name and they mine. What is more important than what is served is how the place interacts with the community around it. I want it to be a place for community engagement whether that be open mic nights, or featuring artwork from local high school artists, or something else to that effect. Sure, your everyday coffee shop would be sustainable and profitable in the right neighborhood but I can't see that fulfilling me. I'm a relationship builder by nature (and profession) so my own business would need to satiate that thirst too.

And if it also satiates my thirst for wine, I am a-okay with that too.

What's your dream second career? Check out Katie's Trading Spaces inspired dream here or Victoria's wine fueled dream here.

//

images via unsplash and pixabay

a few things to share...

Yesterday, I wrote about a little bit of sunshine and 40 degree weather. Today, it is snowing. Will winter ever end? I'm not so sure anymore. I really can't even. So I'll leave you with a just few thoughts and updates.

Happy Thursday! Have a great day!



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images:
cactus and coffee
bed, reading and hair

happy tuesday!

image | graphic by me

I heard this quote today during a professional development training during an all-staff meeting. Admittedly, professional development during staff meetings usually make me groan a bit but today's session about cultivating your internal leadership traits really resonated with me. The whole training left me inspired but this quote stuck with me the most.  I wanted to share it with you too as some Tuesday food for thought. 

Hope your week is off to a great start!

on my reading list

All Book Synopsis from Good Reads

Have you guys heard of GoodReads? (I'm a little late to the game on this one...)

Aaron introduced me to it this past weekend during our three day marathon of couch potatoing. GoodReads users can rate and review books and maintain virtual book shelves or personal reading lists. But it is also a social network. Through GoodReads, you can see what your friends are reading or recommend and even create discussion groups or live chats. It allows you to host a virtual book club so that you can drink your wine at home in your sweatpants. Bra not required. 

Aaron is an avid reader so his GoodReads list makes me a little sheepish. I've finally started my own list and am just owning the fact that I enjoy chick-lit now and again. And I'm putting it out there for the world to see. I'm hoping that by creating a list and really participating in GoodReads, I'll start reading again more regularly. I don't know when or why I stopped reading for pleasure regularly but my corner of the bookshelf is pretty sparse. So here I am adding reading more to the ever growing New Year's resolution list.

My reading list is short right now but this is whats on it:

1 | The Woman I Wanted To Be by  Diane Von Furstenberg
2 | How to Be Parisian Wherever You Are: Love, Style, and Bad Habits by by Anne Berest, Audrey Diwan, Caroline De Maigret, Sophie Mas
3 | 10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works by Dan Harris
4 | The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion
5 | The Girl on a Train by Paula Hawkins

So what's on your list? I'd love to connect with you to see what you're reading! You can connect with me here.

words of resolution

Happy New Year! 
(I know its almost half way through the month...just roll with me here)

The last time we talked was a little less than a month ago and I was burnt.the.eff.out. There really isn't any other way to say it. Being in class again, studying for the GRE, applying to grad school AND working full time was not only a test of my time management but my ability to keep going and stay motivated when things got HARD. It was a struggle to stay focused, keep my eye on the prize and get shit done. And I did.  Today I start school as a grad student! Woop!

But I also know the way I lived last semester was not sustainable. I was a crazy woman! Literally batshit bananas. So I challenged myself to sit down, slow the heck down and figure out what I really want for 2015. I'm not much of a resolution person -- my best resolution was in 2013 when my resolution was to only drink champagne which was fantastic. (Until Sunday morning hangovers set in...) So this year, rather than make "resolutions", I jotted down some words to live by and try to remember when I'm knee deep in shit accounting textbooks.

So hopefully this post serves as that reminder. If not,  I'm sure my number one blog fan (HI MOM!) will remind me :)

And if I still need another reminder.... this season of The Bachelor should keep me grounded. I'm watching as I write this post and can't help but think this is the craziest batch of women in a long time. Surriously, these betches be CRAY.

an update..

image via

I got into business school this week!  What, like it’s hard? 

Some background for you: about 6 months ago, after exploring potential grad programs, I found myself leaning towards an MBA. I decided to take one of the program’s foundation courses as a non-degree seeking student to help me solidify my interest in the program. I think a small part of me (and perhaps larger than I’d like to admit) took the class to figure out if I was even capable of taking the program. The idea of graduate school, let alone business school, was intimidating and the class I took was hard. Like really hard. It was boring and 100% uninteresting. Plain and simple: it blew. But I really enjoyed being in school again and appreciated the routine.  Huh?! It came as a shock to this reformed party girl who made school a pretty low priority in undergrad.

What is making me feel ALL the feels is that at 28, I’m not getting married or having babies or buying a home. I’m going to grad school and I’m wildly excited about it. I’m a planner and always have been. And for a long time, I planned assumed that this point in my life would be about personal next steps rather than professional next steps. (Although I will certainly make the case that taking significant steps professionally allows you to take larger personal steps later. But perhaps that’s a post for another day.) But here I am, taking a huge step professionally not in lieu of taking personal steps but in addition to. And it’s a place I never imagined being even in my wildest dreams.

As young women, I feel like we’re put in this giant venn diagram of marriage/babies/relationship and career-driven ladder-climbers.  I suppose I always assumed the overlap in the middle was a small population but then I landed in the middle. And I’m looking around and seeing… I’m not alone. This middle overlap is way bigger than I thought.

Which brings me to this blog.  I started writing this blog because I felt like there was a void in the blog world of blogs written by young professionals I could relate to. I work full time and have a great job but still have to shop on a budget so I can save for new OTK boots or a family vacation.  I’ve been in a relationship for four years and talk about marriage but there is no one that has supported me more in going back to school than my boyfriend. I want a seat at the table professionally but also want to leave at 5 to come home to a home I’ve created and nurtured.  I am the overlap in the venn diagram and I think it’s pretty likely that you are too. I just forgot about that which is, I think, why I haven't been posting much around here or feeling inspired. 

So I’m going to sign off for a bit so I can spend the next few weeks re-energizing and refocusing before the new year.  I’ll see you in 2015.

Happy holidays, friends! 

xoxox,

Nicole

on friendship

I have a few friends that no matter how long it's been since we've talked our lives always seem to be running the same course. Do you have those types of friends? Our successes, fears, relationships, career growth, and next steps are almost always eerily parallel. And when we do find time to connect via FaceTime or in person, there's a sudden rush of relief that oh someone else gets it and that someone is one of my best friends.  I had one of those types catch ups last week in NYC and I couldn't help leave thinking, why the heck do I let so much time go by.

But then I let it go by again; sometimes life just gets in the way.  I think that's just that nature of the beast in maintaining adult friendships. The best of friends are those who no matter how much time has passed, it feels like it was just yesterday when we talked last. And isn't that the best feeling? But with these particular girlfriends, it’s not only that feeling but also the comfort and security in knowing someone else is celebrating finding the one or is also laying awake thinking about whether to go for that promotion or is also questioning a major life change at the very same time you are.

I suppose when I really think about it, the comfort is in knowing that the universe put us all on like paths and at one point in time, those paths crossed so we could become friends as if it were meant to be. It's pretty moving to think about how those paths will continue to run parallel and how I ought to be taking a more active role in ensuring the paths intersect more often.

Just some food for thought today :)  I’ll be back to fake tans and outfits of the day in no time.

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image source

(edited by me)

life lately....according to my iphone

The past few weeks have been pretty jam packed but in the very best way. Aaron's dad was in town for a visit,  my mama came for a week and  there has been lots of celebrating of my promotion at work. I obviously snap picture of everything because I'm iPhone obsessed but I try not to flood my friends instagram feeds by posting dozens of pictures every day. So instead, I thought I'd share some of my favorite pictures living in my phone camera roll with you here!

from the top left:
{ Reading magazines while Aaron and I get our hair cut // Wine and fresh flowers from TJs // isnt he such a babe? }
{ My new favorite gym song // a favorite from a recent blog post // sparkles and stripes before throwing on my John Cena shirt at WWE }
{ Dressed for a casual dinner with Aaron and his dad // my mama and I are such twinsies }
{ Mother- daughter selfies while everyone else watches basketball // it drives him nuts but I love taking pictures of him while we're out to dinner // dressed for a day of hanging in Baltimore }
{Losing my mind a bit in the backseat of a cramped car // Mike and Ikes are my guilty pleasure! // SUNSHINE in DC! FINALLY! }

Tonight is the first of my two big events this week so it'll be a long day but hopefully not too crazy! If I've done my job well it should all go smoothly.... That being said, I CANNOT wait for this weekend!

xoxoxoox

a quick trip

Ah, New York City, how I love you so.

I'm totally crushing on New York and while my mini trip was such a whirlwind, it was so energizing at the same time. I didn't do much persay, just ate and talked a lot, but my heart is SO full after spending time with girlfriends who are the type that no matter how much time has passed, it always feel like you just saw them yesterday. It's really just the best feeling.

There is also something about New York that is truly infectious. If you've never been a) you definitely need to go and b) you probably think I'm a Looney Toon. When I think of New York, from afar, its easy for me to think of the fast pace, the incessant traffic, the not so friendly people, the dirtiness. But there really is something intangible as soon as I step off the bus/train that gives me an immediate boost. I start to look at the fast pace as people are excited to get to where they want to go; I see the incessant traffic as time to stop and admire the city from the comforts of inside a car; I'm empathetic to the not so friendly people because they are probably tired of sharing their city which is something I get after living in SF and DC which are awesome cities and always packed with tourists. The dirtiness? Well that's just something you get over real quick because who cares about the dirtiness anymore? You're in one of the greatest cities of the world.

Anywho happy Monday, Friends. Hope you had a great weekend and your week is already off to a good start!

(See what a good weekend with girlfriends in NY can do for a person? I'm pumped about a Monday!)

life lately

...as seen by my iphone

Labor day weekend in VA/the last (and our first) Jazz in the Garden of the season/a very late birthday celebration
A random night of shenanigans/the WWII memorial lit up after one of A's softball games//exploring new brunch spots
The hardest decision to make on a Sunday/♥/a sushirito -yes thats a burrito sushi role aka my two favorite things

You can also always follow along here :)

xo
N