black, white, and leopard... (and all the feels)

If I ever wrote a memoir, it would most certainly be titled "Black, White, Leopard, and Feelings." Can you hear me signing "these are a few of my favorite things?"

shirt c/o | similar skirt (on super sale!) | sunglasses | clutch | similar shoes (though I prefer these) 

photos by: Caroline

{warning: a feeling heavy post} 

Being newly engaged is a really interesting time in your life. Obviously. Since I’ve never been here before (obviously), I couldn’t expect how to feel (obviously) but I will say, there are a whole lot of feelings I didn’t anticipate. 

The first is HOW happy I am. I knew I would be excited (obviously) but Aaron and I have been together 5 years and live together…I knew I would be happy but I also figured not a whole lot would change. I’m in love with my best friend so how much better could it get? Let me tell you, I am overjoyed and have ALL THE FEELS. In fact, I’ve been mulling over how to explain the depth of what I’m feeling in words for a few days now. And I’ve reached the conclusion that I can’t do it; I don’t have the words. And I’m not often speechless :) The overwhelming feelings of joy are compounded by it being a hugely personal and life changing time in your life. In a lot of ways, my life changed overnight.  And while I may have a public facing blog, I do like to keep some things personal.  But I also want to shout it from the rooftops: I’m spending my life with my best friend!

Shouting it comes with sharing. And sharing it brings out the best in people. I didn't anticipate how many people would want to share in the joy I have. It's as overwhelming as it is humbling. 

Sharing also comes with feedback…and let me tell you, almost everyone has something to say. It’s weird – how many other life changing moments do you have where the custom is to share and then answer questions. And garner feedback from folks you that perhaps you wouldn’t collect from otherwise…

The questions people have are arguably the most interesting part of being newly engaged.

The first question is usually “so have you thought about when and where” and my answer is always a variation of “Kind of. We’re thinking fall of 2016 somewhere in Northern California but that’s all we’ve thought about. We really want to enjoy this time being engaged and not have to worry about planning a wedding yet.” Because that is the truth – that’s all the thought we’ve given it because we want to just be engaged and enjoy this time. We’re not in a rush. 

So the follow up questions are what have surprised me the most. “So what will you do about visiting venues while you’re living in DC?” or “Are you going to have your mom do the cake tasting because she’s still in California” or “Are you anxious about planning a wedding perhaps sight unseen?”. Welp, I don’t know because I haven’t thought about it. The upside is that response elicits suggestions which I do appreciate.

One of the most surprising questions people dance around and ask in not so many words, “what are you going to do about school?” Um, I’m going to keep going… Getting my MBA is up there with getting engaged and married in terms of top 5 life changing moments for me so I’m certainly not planning on not pursing that to plan a wedding. Societally, we put a lot of weight on a wedding day but I think walking across the stage at my graduation will be an achievement in its own right. It’s a little like comparing apples to oranges but if we get down the bottom line, my degree is going to cost a lot more than a wedding. Hey, I could be signing a whole new song in a few months but for now, both are equal priorities. 

Because above all else, my relationship with Aaron is my most prized priority.

All that being said --  I don’t anticipate this turning into a wedding blog or having a weekly wedding post. We’ve all got Pinterest for that. I’ll probably just continue to share my feelings here and maybe some advice about the process that you might not assume otherwise. Like how to answer the question “I know you just got engaged but… can I have a plus 1 to the wedding” The answer is explicative.  

&&& If you got all the way down here, thanks for listening :)