this weekend

a letter to 2016

Inspired by Victoria McGinley, I'll take a picture at the beginning of each of month of this tree I pass every morning during my morning commute to have a collection of photos to show how our seasons change.

Dear 2016,

You’ve got some big shoes to fill. 2015 was a really wonderful and really hard year; I think it’s the balance of highs and lows that can make a year so fulfilling.

2015 brought new experiences and highlighted memories that I will forever cherish. A year full of blessings brought me little Lucy, professional and personal successes, and a few Mary Tyler Moore moments knowing I was going to make it after all. I explored new places, feelings, and friendships. I found my stride and pride in my work. Though there was no highlight greater than when my best friend asked me to spend the rest of our lives together under the fireworks on 4th of July.

2015 also brought lows. Lows too personal to share in this space but the effects of which are worth sharing as I think they are relatable feelings. I'm lucky not to have suffered any eventful lows like a loss of a loved one  or some other major life disruption. Instead my lows were emotional, and I think those lows permeated my being far more than I realized (or wanted to realize). Rather than confronting the source of my stresses or anxiety, I tried to ignore the feelings which left me disorganized and unfocused. I know the best way to address stress is head on and in 2015 I felt the burden of making the choice not to do so.

2016, and the refresh button any new year brings, has arrived at the most opportune time. My hope for 2016 is that I will work towards a greater fulfillment spiritually and remember to place the people, things, and emotions I love above all else. I think I have a good sense of what matters and doesn't though I too often lose sight of that. I challenge myself in 2016 to try to remain present and not lose sight of the bigger picture -- a challenge I know that I'm capable of meeting.

2015 flew by so I want to savor every moment 2016 gives me. I hate to end on Pinterest-y quote, but life truly is a blessing and every day should be cherished. I hope that you challenge yourself to remember that each and every day, too.

Cheers to you, 2016!

With gratitude,
Nicole

on friendship

I have a few friends that no matter how long it's been since we've talked our lives always seem to be running the same course. Do you have those types of friends? Our successes, fears, relationships, career growth, and next steps are almost always eerily parallel. And when we do find time to connect via FaceTime or in person, there's a sudden rush of relief that oh someone else gets it and that someone is one of my best friends.  I had one of those types catch ups last week in NYC and I couldn't help leave thinking, why the heck do I let so much time go by.

But then I let it go by again; sometimes life just gets in the way.  I think that's just that nature of the beast in maintaining adult friendships. The best of friends are those who no matter how much time has passed, it feels like it was just yesterday when we talked last. And isn't that the best feeling? But with these particular girlfriends, it’s not only that feeling but also the comfort and security in knowing someone else is celebrating finding the one or is also laying awake thinking about whether to go for that promotion or is also questioning a major life change at the very same time you are.

I suppose when I really think about it, the comfort is in knowing that the universe put us all on like paths and at one point in time, those paths crossed so we could become friends as if it were meant to be. It's pretty moving to think about how those paths will continue to run parallel and how I ought to be taking a more active role in ensuring the paths intersect more often.

Just some food for thought today :)  I’ll be back to fake tans and outfits of the day in no time.

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image source

(edited by me)

a quick trip

Ah, New York City, how I love you so.

I'm totally crushing on New York and while my mini trip was such a whirlwind, it was so energizing at the same time. I didn't do much persay, just ate and talked a lot, but my heart is SO full after spending time with girlfriends who are the type that no matter how much time has passed, it always feel like you just saw them yesterday. It's really just the best feeling.

There is also something about New York that is truly infectious. If you've never been a) you definitely need to go and b) you probably think I'm a Looney Toon. When I think of New York, from afar, its easy for me to think of the fast pace, the incessant traffic, the not so friendly people, the dirtiness. But there really is something intangible as soon as I step off the bus/train that gives me an immediate boost. I start to look at the fast pace as people are excited to get to where they want to go; I see the incessant traffic as time to stop and admire the city from the comforts of inside a car; I'm empathetic to the not so friendly people because they are probably tired of sharing their city which is something I get after living in SF and DC which are awesome cities and always packed with tourists. The dirtiness? Well that's just something you get over real quick because who cares about the dirtiness anymore? You're in one of the greatest cities of the world.

Anywho happy Monday, Friends. Hope you had a great weekend and your week is already off to a good start!

(See what a good weekend with girlfriends in NY can do for a person? I'm pumped about a Monday!)

1667 miles for 324 days

You and your man (or woman) have been together since the beginning and will never have to be apart? Move along then friend, this post ain't fo you.

Aaron and I were in a long distance relationship for almost a year after our first two months of dating. I had a fantastic job in San Francisco where my family was based and Aaron was beginning his second year of law school in Omaha, NE. We did long distance for 324 long and miserable days that felt never ending. We moved to DC together for his 6 month internship during his third year of law school and when he went back to Omaha to wrap up his last semester of law school, I stayed in DC and we did long distance for another 5 months until he moved out here for good.

And friends, I have lived to tell the tale. It wasn't the end of the world. The world didn't explode. A and I are still together, celebrating three years together in 2 weeks and EVERYTHING WORKED OUT. Because while LDR's are pretty much the worst thing ever, they can work and can be worth it.

From one LDR survivor to another (because you WILL survive), here is what I have to say

1. Plan! Plan out your visits so far out in advance that you never have to say goodbye to that person without knowing the next time you will see them. Aaron and I would always book the ticket to see each other next while we were together which made good byes just a bit easier.

2. Appreciate the communication! Because your time together is spent on the phone or on skype, great communication develops naturally. You have almost nothing else but talking and this will be build an incredible foundation for your relationship. Be thankful! So many relationship aren't as blessed as to have communication as a building block.

3. Realize this is just a blip in the grand scheme of things! My boss during the time Aaron and I were apart also was in a long distance relationship during law school with her (now) husband. I remember feeling the days would go by sooo slowly (not being dramatic) and she would be quick to remind me what while days go by slowly, the weeks and months fly by. And that when I looked back on this part of my life it would feel like just a minute. Just a blip of my life during my early 20's. And she was right. Now that Aaron and I are together, long distance feels like a hundred years ago. You'll get there, I promise.

4. Just do it! If you have to think about if an LDR is right for you, then its not. There was no doubt in my mind I wanted to be with Aaron and if that meant we lived 4 states away for a year, then so be it. It was a no brainier to me. If you're unsure about the relationship or the person, don't do it. You'll know if a person is worth the distance. You just will.  Which leads me to....

5. Don't do it and MOVE! (If you can). There are a ton of great reasons not to move: school, great jobs, family and Aaron and I had 'em all. But eventually, we just had to make it work. And I moved to DC. Anyone worth doing long distance with is also very likely worth moving for. Take a leap of faith for your relationship and if it doesn't work out, then its an incredible life lesson under your belt and at least you didn't waste more time in a relationship that wasn't going anywhere. And hopefully you move somewhere awesome like DC!

our first summer// first semester in dc//law school graduation//we made it!