4 things I've learned since being engaged

 { pretty white dresses }

It has been a little over seven months since Aaron and I got engaged and we're just about seven months away from saying, "I do." Let me tell you, the first half of our engagement has absolutely flown by. I really can't believe it! When we first got engaged, a lot of our married friends told us to enjoy this time because it flies by which turned out to be very sage advice. I've learned a few other lessons along the way worth sharing..

\\ 1 - FOLLOW YOUR OWN TIMELINE (or "F@$K YOUR TIMELINE, MARTHA STEWART WEDDINGS" //

When Aaron and I first got engaged back in July, we knew we really wanted to take some time just being engaged and not worrying about wedding planning. We knew we wanted to get married in the fall of 2016 but didn't care to be bothered with any other details, especially per the advice of our friends encouraging us to just enjoy our engagement. As it turns out not everyone follows that advice. We started our wedding venue search in September (approximately a year out as recommended by almost every wedding website I read) and much to our dismay, almost all of our favorites were already booked through November 2016. It worked out in the end as we were able to find a venue we loved but it proved to be more stressful than I had imagined. Luckily, that has been the most stressful part of planning thus far.

The lesson learned here: if you're ready to start looking for venues, do it. And if you want to slow down to enjoy our engagement, do it. But be prepared to be under some pressure to find a venue if you decide to wait until you're a year out from your desired date. That being said, I wouldn't have changed my timeline at all; it more so just something to keep in mind.

After the challenge of finding a venue, I decided to book all the other big vendors right away. A few made comments about "how on top of it I was" which is customer service code for, "dang girl, you're early" but it felt great to check off the big boxes and know one more thing was done. Follow the timeline that works for you and the rest of your life.

{ blush and gold decor at BHLDN }

\\  2 - TRUST YOUR JUDGEMENT AND DO YOU //

The wedding world is Earth's version of a blackhole. The pull of wedding blogs and pinterest can only be compared to the gravitational pull of a black hole. No matter how much you fight it, you cannot escape it. Your Facebook ads will only be wedding rings and bridesmaids dresses and all of your recommended pins will be wedding related. You will fall into one clickhole after another reading wedding blogs all telling you what you should and shouldn't be doing. Your vision for your wedding will start to be so diluted with pinsipration that it will start to get challenging to remember what you and your fiance actually want versus what you think you need. And let me tell you, those a two very different things.

You have lived your whole life relying on your own judgement. You have your own distinct taste, and (likely) know what you want in every other facet of your life. Your wedding should be the same. Trust your gut and your judgement. If you like something, go with it. If you don't, move on. This is YOUR wedding to the partner of your dreams and your wedding should reflect that! Don't get swayed by marketing or wedding trends.

Which leads me to my next point...

{ a champagne cheers with my mama after saying "yes!" to the dress }

\\ 3 - THE WEDDING INDUSTRY IS AN INDUSTRY & DON'T FORGET THAT //

As soon as you get engaged you will be inundated with the message that this is [hopefully] a "once in a life time event" meaning you a) have no idea what anything should cost since you've never done this before and b) you should do everything you want because you will never be here again.  That is because the wedding industry is an industry and it is designed to capitalize on a vulnerable time in your life.  Don't lose sight of that. You will find there isn't a lot of transparency in pricing as you may expect to find in other industries. You can reasonably expect the price of an avocado to be between $1 and 1.99 (here on the east cost) and probably wouldn't pay $8 for one; nor would you talk to the cashier about how you wanted to use the avocado and wait for him to tell you the price. Right? That's because that is how we're accustom to making purchasing decisions.

Your wedding should be the same thing. The industry doesn't always make it easy but look for vendors who are upfront and transparent about their prices and services. Honest folks like that  are you will want to be working with in the long run.

One last note about industry pricing. Yes, there is a lot of price gauging BUT there is a cost associated with this being a "once in a lifetime" moment. A photographer can't ask a bride to walk down the isle again so the pressure and high touch service you expect come with a price.

{ the future mrs. robison -- that's me! }

\\ 4 - TIME WILL FLY BY SO ENJOY IT! //

Before you know it, you will be just months away from getting married. Don't get too caught up in the small things or spend too much time getting in the weeds of things. Did you find a florist you like? Hire her. Don't spend another three weeks researching more vendors. Check that box and get back to enjoying this time with you partner, family, and other loved ones. Hopefully, this will be the last time you're engaged so don't miss out on special moments that make you happy with people you love. These past seven months have been so exciting and full of butterfly moments and I'm so glad I've had people around me telling me to slow down and enjoy it.

So my advice for you is to do the same. It's worth it :)

{ only seven more months until this little number is out of the bag }