How to find a budget friendly wedding venue

When I was planning our wedding, I found it pretty challenging to find resources that fit my planning needs. Many wedding blog photos were of weddings clearly out of my budget range and the budget wedding resources were pretty unrealistic for me. Suggestions like don’t serve alcohol, or get married on a Friday on a family farm in rural *insert state here* just weren’t options for us. I needed a “how to plan a pretty Saturday wedding on a reasonable budget (without room to go over) for the young professional who has a life outside of planning her wedding”. Turns out, that doesn’t really exist. Or at least, I couldn’t find it. So I’ve decided to write it myself. I’ll share over a few posts advice for planning, saving money, and general advice I gathered along the way. If you have any specific questions -- let me know!

First up: finding your venue.

As many of you know, I’m an event manager professionally so it’s probably not a surprise that I found wedding planning actually really enjoyable. The hardest and most stressful part of wedding planning was securing a venue. In fact, I only cried once throughout the whole planning process and it was while I was trying to find a venue. That being said, once the venue is booked, everything else just falls into place.

To search for and narrow down venues, I used Here Comes the Guide to get a general sense of prices. Hardly any venues list the price on their website so you spend a ton of time sending out requests for info. Here Comes the Guide helped me rule out places out of budget immediately. I also learned the hard way that venues in the Bay Area book up fast. I looked for my venue in late August/early September 2015 and some places were already booking for spring 2017. So my advice is two fold: take some time off to enjoy the newly engaged phase (it is so special!) but be ready to hit the ground running once you’re ready to plan if you’re planning a year out.

Things to consider when deciding on a venue:

\\ DOES IT COME WITH A DAY OF COORDINATOR? IF NOT, IS ONE REQUIRED?
Having a day of coordinator is hugely helpful but also an added cost. Our venue came with a day of coordinator and I saw other venues that required one. I even saw a few venues that required a coordinator to have certain certifications which may limit your ability to hire whoever you work best with.

\\ WILL THE VENUE HAVE ANY OTHER WEDDINGS THAT WEEKEND?
Some places have weddings Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I knew that I wanted to have the complete attention of my venue and I also wanted to be sure I wasn’t competing for time with another wedding. Our venue only has one wedding per weekend which ensured we were able to have our rehearsal on Friday as well as have access to the venue all day on Saturday. We arrived for hair and make up at 9am!

\\ WHAT DOES THE VENUE FEE INCLUDE?
Find out exactly what the fee includes. Some venue fees are only for the space itself; other fees include tables, chairs, linens, staff, etc. If the fee includes table and chairs, find out how many of each size. You will want to factor in the cost of renting and delivering tables/chairs (if needed) into your budget.

\\ HOW MANY HOURS ARE INCLUDED IN THE RENTAL FEE?
Find out how much time is allotted for the actual ceremony and for your reception.You should also find out how much time you have for set up as well as clean up. You may want to have a late night dance party or arrive early to set up yourself. Either way, the number of hours total is important.

\\ ARE THERE NOISE RESTRICTIONS?
Some outdoor venues have restrictions on how loud amplified noise can be played so if you want to dance all night under the stars, make sure the venue will allow your DJ to keep playing.

\\ CAN YOU BRING IN YOUR OWN ALCOHOL? IF SO, IS THERE A CORKAGE FEE? 
Bringing your own alcohol is a huge cost saver. Seriously, it is probably the easiest way to save a significant amount of money. We saw a few places that offered packages that included an open bar for a cost per person which seems tempting but it is a lot cheaper to pay based on consumption. A $30 open bar may seem like a steal for you and your friends, but is your grandpa really going to drink $30 worth of booze? That being said, it is only a cost saver if there isn’t a corkage fee so be sure to double check!

While we’re on the subject of alcohol, can the venue serve liquor (if that's important to you)? Not all venues have spirit licenses so if you want to have liquor at your wedding, be sure to ask about the license available. Some venues will allow you to have a signature cocktail rather than a full bar.

\\ ARE THERE PREFERRED OR REQUIRED VENDORS?
This is a big one, guys. Preferred vendors are great because they presumably know the space well and you won’t have to worry about managing them much on the day of. Required vendors are another thing. It wasn’t a deal breaker to me, but you should know if there are any required vendors in case you have your heart set on another vendor. If the venue does have a required vendor (most often this is a catering vendor), be sure to sign an agreement with that vendor before signing with the venue. Once you've signed with the venue, you will lose a lot of leverage in negotiating contracts because you have to use the required vendor. The eternal optimist in me doesn’t think vendors are looking to price gouge you but negotiating contracts (especially catering contracts) is an easy ways to trim costs. So you don’t want to limit your ability to do so because you’ve signed a contract with the venue and therefore must accept the required vendor’s terms.

//

Do you have any specific questions about finding venues? We loved our venue Las Positas Vineyards but also looked at a ton of other Bay Area venues so if you have any questions -- fire away!

why you should take engagement pictures

A few months ago, I had drinks with a friend who, like me, was planning her wedding cross country. She had shared her beautiful engagement pictures from around DC on social media earlier in the day so when we got together, I asked her if she hired a local photographer for her pictures. She explained how she flew her photographers out to DC because it was more cost efficient than hiring a local photog. I won't share the cost she shared but I will say my last flight to SF was around $400.

I couldn't help it and blurted out, "OMG why?" She asked, "why what?" Here's my chance to redeem myself. I clarified, "why did you take engagement pictures?" What I really meant was, what's the point of that substantial extra cost for an engagement shoot?

Her response? "For the wedding! Duh!" Okay, so she didn't say duh but I'm sure she was thinking it.

I still needed more clarification so I asked, “but, like for what exactly?” She planned to “use them for her save the dates” and “for the wedding”. At this point, I already knew I was going to make my own save the dates and I couldn’t ask again about what “for the wedding” meant so I just let it go. I couldn’t figure out what the point of the pictures was aside from having an entire photoshoot of pictures of you and your significant other. That is lovely (and I’ll say it – a little vain)  but I wasn’t convinced it was worth the cost.

Until now.

An engagement shoot is included in our wedding package (which by the way I didn’t find was an across the board offer while researching photographers). Because I wasn’t sure why we should take pictures and we weren’t sure when we could even take them, I negotiated adding the shoot onto our day of wedding package. When Aaron and I were home a few weeks, we met with our photographer and decided we should just take the pictures. And I’m so glad we did.

Below are my top three reasons to take engagement pictures

1. GET COMFORTABLE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA

I am very comfortable in front of a camera. Hello, I’ve been slapping pictures of myself on this blog for a few years now! Aaron is not so much. It was important for him to get comfortable posing and taking direction. It was just as important for us to feel comfortable together.  Some shots are natural – you’re walking, talking, laughing – others are not so much when you’re posed or laughing into each others eyes. You have to loosen up and you don’t want your wedding day to be the day you’re figuring out how to loosen up in front of a camera.

2 - GET COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR PHOTOGRAPHER

The same idea applies for getting comfortable with your photographer.  Unless you’re a Kardashian, there is very little natural about the situation of having someone follow you around and take pictures of you. You want to get to know that person and feel comfortable being yourself in front of the camera. After we got comfortable with our photographer, we were able to tell her things like, this is my better side, or I don’t feel comfortable in this pose,  etc.

3 - SEE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE IN PRINT BEFORE THE BIG DAY 

Our photographer shoots in digital and film which we love and is part of the reason we hired her.  Getting the pictures back highlights the differences between the two and now that I know that I can ask her to use film for certain parts of the wedding and digital for others. Now that we have pictures back, I can see that I’m not comfortable with kissy pictures, or that wearing false lashes make my eyes pop. These are all things I couldn’t have known without seeing how our engagement pictures turned out. And they are all things I will keep in mind for our wedding day.

At the end of the day, you don’t want to be testing anything out on your wedding day.  Engagement pictures are really good practice for the big day. If they come with your package, take advantage! They come with the added bonus of having a few pictures of you as couple that aren’t drunken, iPhone selfies. Or is that just us?

how to DIY your wedding save the dates

Yes, you can DIY your wedding save the dates. I made our save the date and I lived to tell the tale.

Here is what you need to know:

1. It will take a long time, and even more time than you anticipated.

2. You don't have to be a design maven.

3. While it is a lot of work, its's worth it. It will be a really fulfilling personal touch to your wedding.

4. You will save money (I saved over $100 by doing them myself!)

There are tons of resources available if you want to make your own Save the Dates. Before you getting into all the resources, you have to decide how much you actually want to DIY. I DIY'd pretty much the whole thing -- I designed the image, printed the cards, labeled the envelopes, and stamped them all myself. I decided not to handwrite the addresses since I don't have best penmanship so I printed them with my home printer. You can obviously manage the whole process like I did or some variation. I'll outline all the different options for you below.

DESIGN //

If you want to design the card yourself, spend some time on Pinterest and perusing Etsy to get a sense of what you like. Do you want a picture or text only card? Do you want something clean and minimal, or do you want a full space? Once you have an idea in your head, the design process will be a lot easier. Use something you found and liked for inspiration! If you don't have a photoshop application to use to design the card, check out PicMonkey or Canva. Both are online graphic design and photo editing softwares that make design super easy. Even if you aren't a design wiz (I'm certainly not!) PicMonkey and Canva are easy to use and will allow you to make a professional looking design. PicMonkey also has loads of design tutorials that should help you get started. PicMonkey has preloaded fonts but you can also use any font on your computer so check out DaFont.com for tons of free fonts you can use.

I also spent quite a bit of time looking on the Paper Source website for inspiration. I took one of their workshops on invitation making and it was really helpful. It gave me lots of ideas for my own card.

If you don't want to design the card yourself but want to make it yourself to save money, check out Etsy for printable designs. There are tons of beautiful options for less than $10. You can buy the design, edit the language to reflect your wedding information, and print it yourself. 

PRINTING //

I used my at home printer for all of our printing. I bought all of the cardstock at Paper Source and printed it at home. I tried to manage the process in small batches so printing at home was the most convenient. You can also take your own cards to Staples or FedEx Office (formerly, Kinkos) and print there.

There are also loads of options for online printing where you simply upload your design and the prints are delivered to you. You can use Vista Print or Moo.com or even Staples. 

Regardless of how you print, make sure to test print! Don't just look at the design on your computer; print a hard copy to see what it will actually look like in hand and make design adjustments accordingly and if needed.

ENVELOPES //

While I love the look of calligraphed addresses, I knew I didn't have the penmanship to do it myself.  There are plenty of calligraphers for hire but since the point of making my own save the dates was to save a few pennies, it didn't make sense to hire someone to hand letter an envelope that was going to end up in the trash eventually. I printed addresses directly on the envelope in the same font I used on the save the date. If you decide to hand letter your envelopes, check out The Lettermate to guide your spacing.

For return labels, I ordered a customized return stamp from StampJoy. It came within four days of ordering and looked exactly like the mockup. I highly recommend StampJoy!

COST SAVINGS //

Most of the Save the Dates I liked from traditional paper retailers like Minted, Wedding Paper Divas, Etsy and Paper Source were around 2.50 a card not inclusive of postage. I spent just over $100 for my save the dates on paper, envelopes, postage, and my customized return stamp and my cost per card came down to $1.28. Depending on how many you plan to make, the cost savings can really add up! Though it took me a few weekends -- a rough, generous, guestimate is that it took something like 12 hours total -- I was happy to save the $100 to put back into our wedding budget. As you fellow brides know, costs add up FAST so it was great to save just a little bit on our save the dates. It would take even less time if you enlisted the help of your bridesmdaids and family. 

Did you make your own Save the Dates, too? Any advice for me as I make the rest of my wedding stationery? Let me know if you have any specific questions. I am happy to help!

4 things I've learned since being engaged

 { pretty white dresses }

It has been a little over seven months since Aaron and I got engaged and we're just about seven months away from saying, "I do." Let me tell you, the first half of our engagement has absolutely flown by. I really can't believe it! When we first got engaged, a lot of our married friends told us to enjoy this time because it flies by which turned out to be very sage advice. I've learned a few other lessons along the way worth sharing..

\\ 1 - FOLLOW YOUR OWN TIMELINE (or "F@$K YOUR TIMELINE, MARTHA STEWART WEDDINGS" //

When Aaron and I first got engaged back in July, we knew we really wanted to take some time just being engaged and not worrying about wedding planning. We knew we wanted to get married in the fall of 2016 but didn't care to be bothered with any other details, especially per the advice of our friends encouraging us to just enjoy our engagement. As it turns out not everyone follows that advice. We started our wedding venue search in September (approximately a year out as recommended by almost every wedding website I read) and much to our dismay, almost all of our favorites were already booked through November 2016. It worked out in the end as we were able to find a venue we loved but it proved to be more stressful than I had imagined. Luckily, that has been the most stressful part of planning thus far.

The lesson learned here: if you're ready to start looking for venues, do it. And if you want to slow down to enjoy our engagement, do it. But be prepared to be under some pressure to find a venue if you decide to wait until you're a year out from your desired date. That being said, I wouldn't have changed my timeline at all; it more so just something to keep in mind.

After the challenge of finding a venue, I decided to book all the other big vendors right away. A few made comments about "how on top of it I was" which is customer service code for, "dang girl, you're early" but it felt great to check off the big boxes and know one more thing was done. Follow the timeline that works for you and the rest of your life.

{ blush and gold decor at BHLDN }

\\  2 - TRUST YOUR JUDGEMENT AND DO YOU //

The wedding world is Earth's version of a blackhole. The pull of wedding blogs and pinterest can only be compared to the gravitational pull of a black hole. No matter how much you fight it, you cannot escape it. Your Facebook ads will only be wedding rings and bridesmaids dresses and all of your recommended pins will be wedding related. You will fall into one clickhole after another reading wedding blogs all telling you what you should and shouldn't be doing. Your vision for your wedding will start to be so diluted with pinsipration that it will start to get challenging to remember what you and your fiance actually want versus what you think you need. And let me tell you, those a two very different things.

You have lived your whole life relying on your own judgement. You have your own distinct taste, and (likely) know what you want in every other facet of your life. Your wedding should be the same. Trust your gut and your judgement. If you like something, go with it. If you don't, move on. This is YOUR wedding to the partner of your dreams and your wedding should reflect that! Don't get swayed by marketing or wedding trends.

Which leads me to my next point...

{ a champagne cheers with my mama after saying "yes!" to the dress }

\\ 3 - THE WEDDING INDUSTRY IS AN INDUSTRY & DON'T FORGET THAT //

As soon as you get engaged you will be inundated with the message that this is [hopefully] a "once in a life time event" meaning you a) have no idea what anything should cost since you've never done this before and b) you should do everything you want because you will never be here again.  That is because the wedding industry is an industry and it is designed to capitalize on a vulnerable time in your life.  Don't lose sight of that. You will find there isn't a lot of transparency in pricing as you may expect to find in other industries. You can reasonably expect the price of an avocado to be between $1 and 1.99 (here on the east cost) and probably wouldn't pay $8 for one; nor would you talk to the cashier about how you wanted to use the avocado and wait for him to tell you the price. Right? That's because that is how we're accustom to making purchasing decisions.

Your wedding should be the same thing. The industry doesn't always make it easy but look for vendors who are upfront and transparent about their prices and services. Honest folks like that  are you will want to be working with in the long run.

One last note about industry pricing. Yes, there is a lot of price gauging BUT there is a cost associated with this being a "once in a lifetime" moment. A photographer can't ask a bride to walk down the isle again so the pressure and high touch service you expect come with a price.

{ the future mrs. robison -- that's me! }

\\ 4 - TIME WILL FLY BY SO ENJOY IT! //

Before you know it, you will be just months away from getting married. Don't get too caught up in the small things or spend too much time getting in the weeds of things. Did you find a florist you like? Hire her. Don't spend another three weeks researching more vendors. Check that box and get back to enjoying this time with you partner, family, and other loved ones. Hopefully, this will be the last time you're engaged so don't miss out on special moments that make you happy with people you love. These past seven months have been so exciting and full of butterfly moments and I'm so glad I've had people around me telling me to slow down and enjoy it.

So my advice for you is to do the same. It's worth it :)

{ only seven more months until this little number is out of the bag }

a little update...

Remember last week when I told you that I was back to blogging after taking a break? I was really excited to spend some time this past weekend putting together some new content (like my suggestions for the Nordstrom Anniversary sale this week!)

Well that didn't happen....

Because AARON AND I GOT ENGAGED THIS WEEKEND! Woohoo!

I am totally and utterly overwhelmed with joy and the outpouring of love from our friends and family. Aaron is my best friend and I really feel like the luckiest girl in the world that we get to spend the rest of our lives together. Lucy on the other hand could give zero shits, as evident by this picture. Ever the diva that one...

We spend the weekend celebrating, with lots of champagne, so suffice to say the blog was moved to the back burner briefly. I'll get back into the flow of posting soon :)

//

And just for shits and giggles.... the behind the scenes of trying to get a picture with Lucy. Always.